I kind of dropped off the map a while ago. I barely post on Instagram, I rarely reply to texts, I haven't even been posting on my blog. And it's made me feel like I've been slowly disappearing as I want to curl up in my bed all day watching Netflix. And not in a "I'm lazy" kind of way, but more of a "my chronic illnesses are kicking my butt and I'm constantly out of spoons" sort of way. But that's NOT OK! I hate myself for it. Aside from going to work, I haven't been productive at all. I kept asking myself, how do I get out of this funk? How do I just GO DO IT! Whatever it may be!
I recently had a doctor's appointment with my primary to go over more solutions pertaining to my lack of energy along with gaining weight but barely eating. She is blaming it on my increased depression and has basically prescribed mild exercise! Hmmm, WHAT?! How am I, someone with Fibromyalgia that makes me feel like I have to take a 3-hour nap after working a 6-hour desk job? I barely have enough energy after a normal day to put my clothes out for the next day.
According to her, mild exercise is supposed to increase my serotonin levels, therefore, balancing other things out, including my weight. Yes, I'll try it. At this point, my self esteem has been in the toilet as I've gone from 110 pounds to not being able to fit in my size 0 jeans anymore. When you've been small and fit your whole life but a chronic condition decides "hmm how about no" and throws in depression on top of it, it's a recipe for disaster.
Updates to come.
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